Wednesday, April 08, 2009

I is for . . .

Well, today it's for interruption. I had another post written, but did not have time to take pictures, without which the post makes absolutely no sense at all (as opposed to the usual word salad rambling sense rife with digression you've come to expect here).

So. Today tastes like irritation, idiopathy, interference, and iodine.

My natal anniversary was this past Saturday, and it feels like this one was a corner-turning one.

I've had them before, some at the usual and expected points (eighteen, when childhood ended) and some not (twenty-four, when adulthood began; or thirty-six, when I started to feel like I could art).

This one . . . this one I feel Lord Shiva dancing in my heart. I is for immolation.

I feel that some significant chapters need to be closed. I'm not going to slam the book shut, tempting though that is, easy though that would be, but some of the principals and semi-laid plans I had are not going to come through the way I initially thought they would. If think is the correct word. I is for intuition.

I love my paper arts, I love my fiber arts, I love my charity knitting, but my studios are in chaos. I can find what I seek, but the finding means moving everything in an N-puzzle algorithm. Move the duffle bag so I can move the couch so I can get to the coffee table, open the door, and then spread the contents out until I find that ball of yarn/piece of cloth/bit of ribbon--then reverse the steps to put it all back.

The time has come 'round to pick the next layer of low-lying fruit and kiss the things I no longer find motivating goodbye. To decide on the ground-level goals, to plan out the 500 foot-level goals, and to see the big picture from space. I am weighed down with shoulds and promises I have made to no one except myself, even though the products may go to others.

Lord Shiva says to open your hands, to clear the path, to sweep the land clean for Brahma.

I is for inspiration.

1 comment:

Elizabeth said...

I love reading essays that drop a crystal in the supersaturated solution in my mind, instantly crystalizing my feelings about a subject. I have a such a hate-hate relationship with all my stuff at the moment - it would be nice to move back to at least a love-hate balance.