Monday, March 03, 2008

First Review

Today tastes like leftovers, but remarkably decent leftovers. Like white bean soup with chunks of ham from Easter dinner, like open faced pulled pork sandwiches from Sunday's roast, like shepherd's pie with lamb and beef and chicken.

Time for the first Groudhog's Day Resolution Review.

1. I will not beat myself up for falling short of perfection with respect to this list.

Doing surprisingly well with this one. Doing well with this perfectionistic habit in other areas as well.

My wallet is playing peekaboo with me. I carry a large messenger bag full of stuff, and I have an eeensy weeensy black wallet. So when I go into a store, I just take the wallet. I don't need 40 art doll patterns to get a quart of milk, I just need my credit cards, right? So I dig the wallet out, and chuck it back in when I'm done.

And then, of course, the next time I'm at amazon.spend (OOOOOHHHH, Interweave Press has a new collection of doll patterns--40 Art Doll Patterns You've Seen Before, But Now They're All in One Place--where's my wallet?? I MUST HAVE THIS NOW!!!) and I can't find the thing.

Or I'm on the way to work on Monday (could I call in with spring fever?) and I realize I need to stop for gas, so I need my credit cards . . . and they're nowhere to be found.

See, normally this would bring on frustration (I'm SOOOOO stupid!!! Why can I NEVER put anything back??) and frustration leads to anger, and anger leads to suffering, which leads to the Dark Side.

Lately, though, it's been leading to thoughtful stubbornness. (I know I put it in this bag SOMEWHERE. I've looked through the bag three ties, I've checked the car, I;ve checked the shuttle purse, I've checked by the computer. I'll check the bag AGAIN--and there it is.)

A small victory, but mine own.

2. I will complete 9 knitted projects this year.

We're on track for this so far. I finished Gareth's Montrously Intricate Socks--and actually loved the pattern when I went back to 4 DPN's (not 2Socks2Circs No Waiting) and used all my little tricks--stitch markers to track the pattern, half-toothpick cable needles, etc.

I've made excellent progress on one Linus Binkie and a shawl for me. Again, I have tricks for a reason; I should use them as they make the process more fun for me. Keep this "process" thing in mind, it becomes important in a minute. There will be a quiz.

3. I will complete three spreads per month in the art journal.

Uhm . . . not so good. I mean, I made two in February, but it seems to take two sessions of weekends to get one spread done.

Part of it is that I'm not happy to slap down a melange of green papers, a vintage photo, a party hat and an inspirational ejaculation ("Brulee!") and call it a spread. I'm working on more of a finished piece that has meaning to me, at least.

And I'm not P&M'ing about how looooong it takes, and how I wish I was more creative like yooooooouuuu, because it's sooooooo easy for youuuuuuu. I'm saying it takes longer to get to a finished product than I thought it would when I set my goals.

And here's the pop quiz. I'm a process person. I know that. Always have been--that's part of why I knit, and why I'll take on complicated projects just for fun. And I'm okay with it taking time, because that time is being used doing something I enjoy. Some people spend five-ten hours a week watching soap operas, and count that as time ENJOYED rather than WASTED. Hokay.

But all my goals are PRODUCT related. No wonder this isn't feeling like a good fit. I'm feeling a little anxious about getting it all done RFN and meeting my goals, when my focus should be on doing my work.

Don't get me wrong--I would very much like to complete nine knitted projects and 4 signatures of my art journal per year. I also have ongoing exchanges and workshops to attend to (an ATC workshop, two art doll exchanges, a knitted shawl exchange, and a partridge in a pear tree) plus the 55-word storybooks to print and bind each quarter.

Hmmm. Need to fine-tune these goals a little, methinks. There's a lot going on here. Feels like the first time I inventoried all the knitted projects I had in some stage of completion--from cast on and worked the first row to needs some ends woven in and buttons sewn on--and just about passed out from the sheer number of things in the middle.

Tune in in 32 days for a Groundhog Day Resolution Review. Will Spike have revised her goals in light of her desires? Will she have found another bunch of hours in the day? (If I could just give up sleep . . . there's eight right there!)

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