Friday, October 29, 2004

Weight and See

Today tastes like . . . canned milkshakes and empty promises.

I have always found it painfully ironic that women’s magazines will present a hot new diet and decadent desserts in the same issue. Presumably, after consuming the desserts, one will need to follow the diet to remove the poundage. And I’ve been sufficiently Ayn Randed to realize that it’s all about pushing product, baby. If we can’t hook you with promises of a slimmer more youthful you, then we’ll getcha where you live, fatso, with a new chocolate strawberry shortcake recipe.

And now, with Kirstie Ally in “Fat Actress” where she plays herself, essentially, as an actress who has gained a bunch of weight (aka “she’d be so pretty if only she’d lose that weight) (sidebar—it helps to be pretty BEFORE you gain the weight) and the starfucker magazines are going great guns over her refusal to take it all off right now and try for younger, slimmer roles. They chide her for not repenting and dieting back down to a “healthy” weight and a more “normal” size (is that a 2 or a 4 this year?)

Mary Kate Olsen is taken to task for being too slim, however. Much is made of the revolving rehab door, and she’s encouraged to for God’s sake, EAT something dear child. Hmmm, wonder where the obsession with slenderness came from? Wonder if the stress of being in the goldfish bowl has anything to do with this? And heaven help her if she gains one ounce over the recommended weight for her height (“recommended” by the mainstream media, of course, the same people who made much of a supermodel who was a “voluptuous” 136 at six feet two.)

Perhaps she could give Oprah a run for her money in the weight gain-loss merry-go round.

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